I hate tumblr sex positivity bcs you’ll have teenage girls that come to a blogger and say “I haven’t done anything before and I sometimes feel ashamed and behind bcs I feel like a prude” and the majority of responses will be “girl, be a hoe!! Go suck a dick!! Go fuck someone’s dad (lol)! Suck 10 dicks! Live your life”… and I hate it bcs it doesn’t take into account how damaging performing sexual acts with boys can be. We all acknowledge that boys can be very misogynistic, rude, disrespectful many times on tumblr and your response to sexually inexperienced girls is to go and suck boys off. How does that make sense?
I’m gonna be honest and say the first time I performed a blowjob, I honestly felt disgusted with myself… I should’ve waited with someone I trusted and someone who would’ve given me the emotional support and affection I needed after. Sex and sexual acts can be fun, but we shouldn’t act like it can’t also be harrowing and upsetting for young girls. What do we gain from acting like sex is an inherently positive experience when in reality, we know that’s not true? Why are we telling impressionable young girls to go suck 10 dicks (it’s also p cissexist tbh) like being that sexual so fast can’t have negative repercussions on their mental state? There’s nothing wrong with being sexual, I enjoy it myself. But I think we need to be more careful with how we frame discussions about sex on here. It’s always too extremes; either “don’t have sex or you’ll die” or people thinking they’re being super progressive by telling young girls “have all the sex, suck all the dicks, be free”… Both of these are terrible and bad advice.
I wish more people told me that there’s nothing wrong with being sexual and no one should shame me for whatever I do, but that there’s also things I should be weary of. Sex isn’t an inherently good thing, you have to be emotionally, physically and mentally ready for anything you do, even kissing, bcs whether we like it or not. Being sexual does affect people especially if the aftermath isn’t great… Girls can feel really bad and self-hating if they rush into something they’re not ready for. Most boys really don’t offer the needed support afterwards tbh, and that’s what can be really damaging to young girls and we need to start factoring that into the conversation.
(This post is written from a heterosexual point of view bcs I’m straight and I’m drawing from my own personal experiences but please feel free to add from other perspectives in the commentary if you want)
I think this is one of the most important posts I have read, and I fully agree with everything said
Please read this thoroughly.
I was one of those teenage girls. People always treated me like an innocent child in high school and I felt like such a boring prude and thought there was something wrong with me, because–not only had I never done anything sexual–I was not sexually attracted to anyone, even the guys I had crushes on. It took me an astonishingly long time to figure out that I am, in fact, asexual (probably because I was under the impression that asexuals have 0 interest in anything remotely sexual at all whatsoever under any circumstances, and I was interested in sex in theory, just not actual practice). I feel confident that forcing myself into sexual acts for the sake of wanting to seem “normal” would have been incredibly damaging to me.
If your advice to a teenage girl who is ashamed of her sexual inexperience is anything other than, “You’re normal and there’s nothing wrong with you and you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” then fuck you. You should be ashamed of yourself.
